Elkanah her husband said to her, “Do what seems best to you; wait until you have weaned him; only, may the LORD establish his word.” So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. - 1 Samuel 1:23 (ESV)
When she could hide him no longer, she took for him a basket made of bulrushes and daubed it with bitumen and pitch. She put the child in it and placed it among the reeds by the river bank. - Exodus 2:3 (ESV)
The infant stage of childhood refers to the period of babies’ lives when they are newly born and are as dependent on their parents as they will ever be. These passages are not directly about how to raise babies, but they are representative of how parents should think about their infant children.
These two passages indicate at least two important ideas about infants. In the first place, the short period just after birth is the time when the newborn is most dependent. In the second place, the beginning of a newborn’s life is a period full of explosive change in the baby’s life and general development. Let’s consider each of these in turn.
Dependence
Consider how dependent newborn children are. In the case of Samuel, we read of a baby who remained with his mother until she weaned him, at which point she turned him over to the temple for service to Yahweh, as she had promised. We should note that by the time he was weaned, Samuel was likely 3-4 years old. In the case of Moses, he was with his mother for much less time before being placed in the river with little more than a prayer that someone would find him.
It is difficult to imagine the heartache that each mother would have felt. For Moses’ mother, he was still only an infant. He could not swim, nor could he do anything in the basket but lie there and cry. Depending on how long he was in the basket before being discovered by Pharaoh’s daughter, he likely soiled himself, unable to do anything to cleanse himself. He also could not feed himself. He could not get himself out of the basket or swim his way to the bank.
We also read in Moses’ case how his sister followed the basket to see what would become of her baby brother. Again, our compassion is ignited in imagining what she might have seen. She saw her baby brother go, but she could not save him. If the basket tipped and Moses drowned, what could she do? If a predator discovered the basket, she would likely only be able to watch in horror and sorrow. She could do nothing but watch because Moses could do nothing for himself. Moses could do nothing, that is, except cry, which is precisely how the princess discovered him.
Moses’ cry brings up an important point. There is little that babies can communicate in the first days and months of their lives other than cry. Other communication abilities typically develop quickly, but they need time. Crying is the one thing that Moses could do to help himself. Moses’ cries were a crucial step in God’s provision for Moses to be rescued by the princess. If not for the cry of Moses, he never would have been heard, and thus rescued, and so never would have survived to grow up to cry to Pharaoh in Yahweh’s name, “Let my people go.” God’s plans for redemption sometimes hang on very thin threads, but He is no less in control then than when there appear to be many things working in God’s favor.
Growth
Consider the explosive growth that children experience. We do not know how old Samuel was when he was delivered by his mother to stay at the temple with Eli, the priest. We only know that he had been weaned, which means that Samuel could get enough nutrition from food without needing his mother’s milk. It is hard to imagine Hannah not allowing Samuel to nurse a bit longer than average, given that she knows she must give him up once she has weaned him. In this case, both Moses’ and Samuel’s stories are similar, since both of their mothers were involved in their lives only long enough for them not to depend on them for their nutrition. This means that both babies went from the near total helplessness of the newborn stage to the point of walking, talking, and self-feeding in a matter of a few years, probably five or fewer. Compared to any other period in a person’s life, that level of development indicates the most significant amount of change in such a short period of time. This explosive growth implies many things as parents consider their own children.
Implications for Parenting
Parents of newborn babies can expect inconsistency and irregularity. Newborn babies change so much so quickly that it is impossible to predict with any reason how one day will go compared to another one. Some babies are born with hair and some without. Some are born with teeth and most without. Some are born with specific medical conditions and some are not. Assuming the general health of babies, they all will continue the process of growth and maturation that began in utero.
Just consider the fact that a mere forty weeks or so before birth, the child had only begun to exist as a single cell, known as a zygote. In other words, when parents meet their baby in person for the first time, they are holding a little being that is in the middle of explosive growth. The baby’s brain, heart, skin, and other organs only just formed within weeks of the time that parents see their child with their own eyes.
What does all this mean for how parents take care of their babies? Parents need to expect some inconsistency and irregularity. No two babies are the exact same. That is easy enough to understand when we talk about adults; no two adults are the exact same. But for some reason, parents, and books about parenting, sometimes give the impression that every child is the exact same. If only parents will follow certain instructions, then they can control their babies’ behavior and predict how they will be. This is unhelpful because it is untrue, and therefore sets up false expectations that can only lead to disappointment and frustration.
The Bible gives no foundation to the idea that children are all the exact same and can be predicted with any amount of confidence. Rather, the Bible presents children as incredible beings made in God’s image, corrupted by sin nature, and subject to the decay and death that has been in the world since the fall of Adam and Eve. There are obvious and true patterns that we can observe, and medical doctors and scientists in different fields certainly add more observations to illustrate what Scripture leads us to expect. This means that parents can benefit from talking with experienced people, reading books, and listening to podcasts that help parents to understand the intricacies and nuances of infancy. There should be a healthy respect for the uniqueness of each child balanced against the basic principle that all children are made in the image of God and are descended from Adam and Eve, and thus will generally fall into some basic patterns as a rule.
Conclusion
In sum, parents need to understand how to care for their babies. If they are going to do that, then they need to have two basic expectations that they bring with them. The first is that their babies will depend on them, and therefore parents need to be willing and able to care for their children. The second is that babies will grow quickly, and therefore parents need to expect ups and downs as their children change. Some things will be consistent with what they have seen in other parents and children, but some things will be unique to their children, and that is ok. Following this article, we will look at some more specifics regarding what caring for babies actually looks like.