Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)
We human beings are not a very sensible lot. We tend to be inconsistent, fickle, confused, ignorant, and small-minded. On top of this, we also tend toward arrogance and pride, which covers our many faults in a veneer of impressiveness that leaves us more content with ourselves than we should be. In other words, despite all the reasons not to be, we are smug. Indeed, we are not a very sensible lot.
The Presence of Self-Contradiction
One of the ways our faults show up is in our self-contradiction. We are not consistent thinkers, especially as young people. It is common to hear students articulate ideas that contradict one another. They might hold one point on one side of a conversation, only to hold another position on another topic that is incompatible with the first.
For example, a student might voice an opinion about Scripture as the authoritative Word of God. The student might argue that Scripture is the only source of revelation, only to turn two minutes later and boldly claim that God still speaks audibly to people. The student has just claimed that Scripture is the only source of revelation, but then added that there are other sources of revelation.
When students contradict themselves, it is common to point it out as though the student should recognize their error and stop talking. But we do not want the students to stop talking. We want them to talk so that we can know what they are thinking. And knowing what a person thinks when faced with self-contradiction is to know a lot about that person.
It is tempting to treat a case of self-contradiction as a sort of “gotcha” moment. It is not that small group leaders tend to be jerks who care about nothing more than proving themselves superior to students. More often, leaders are looking to build rapport with students, and laughing, making a joke, or criticizing the student can seem like a way to do that. It normally is not. The problem is in treating it like a “gotcha” moment at all. There should be no surprise that a student would say a contradictory thing. It should be expected by leaders. Then, when students contradict themselves, the leaders take it in stride. They might make a joke, or offer a criticism, or even laugh, but it strikes the student differently because the way the leader does it is different. The difference is in a sort of non-surprised fulfillment of the leader’s expectations. This is hard to fake. It is reassuring to students because the lack of surprise makes what might be an unsettling interaction into another example of the leader’s unfazed unflappableness.
We do not want the student to admit their error and be quiet. Instead, we want them to recognize their error and analyze it. Why is it a contradiction? Is it really a contradiction? Is one of the contradicting statements correct, or are all of them false?
Navigating Self-Contradiction
How can Scripture help us to know what is right and what is not? All of these questions help a student to take Scripture and their own minds seriously.
The text from 1 Thessalonians is simple, but it has profound implications that help us to understand how to respond to something like self-contradiction among students. The basic goal among believers is to encourage one another and build each other up. A basic ingredient for this is humility. This text calls us to have a mind that thinks, “I hear what this person said, and I can see the contradiction. How can I help this student recognize the contradiction and resolve it in a way that encourages them to keep thinking and conforming their thoughts to Scripture?” This kind of attitude or disposition toward a person is fundamentally different from a mind that thinks, “Got ‘im!”
Encouraging and building up students should be a basic goal for small group leaders. However, there is a difficulty, which is that the state of the students’ relationship to God is often, if not always, questionable. This is not because youth are never saved, but because they are young enough and immature enough to make it difficult to discern. It is difficult to make an accurate read of anyone in depth. Students present added challenges compared to full-grown adults because they are naturally immature in addition to spiritually immature, if they are alive in Christ at all. This dynamic makes knowing where students are and how to respond difficult.
What does this dynamic have to do with students who contradict themselves and how leaders respond? It is a good reminder to proceed with caution. Leaders can sometimes verbally “jump” onto students who contradict themselves, but this is rarely a good idea because it tends to serve mostly to establish a sense of superiority by the leader and inferiority for the student. But establishing that is rarely needed. The students already know the leader is the leader because it is in the name. It is generally more beneficial to students for the leaders to assume the students have some semblance of respect for them as the leader.
When leaders don’t leap at the opportunity to make students feel inferior, there is a sense of expectation and anticipation by students as to what the leader will do. This is where the beauty of a command like Paul’s comes in handy. Leaders can seek to encourage and build up the students. This may happen in a myriad of ways depending on the context. The important thing is that leaders have that disposition toward the students, and that they seek to be wise and prudent in the way that they address self-contradiction. It is not encouraging to make students feel stupid. It does not build up to settle for tearing down an argument.
Conclusion
In sum, what leaders should do is seek to point out appropriately and circumspectly the contradiction what a student has said, or to help the group to navigate it well by asking if they can see it. All the while, the leader makes sure to communicate implicitly and explicitly that the goal is to build up and encourage rather than to tear down. In this way, a moment of blatant self-contradiction is converted from an embarrassment for the student and a “win” for the leader to an opportunity to advance together in knowledge and understanding of the truth according to Scripture.