[5] I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. – John 15:5 (ESV)

“Need” is a strong word, and probably used too often. But there is no exaggeration when Christians describe their need for Christ. Christ’s words in John 15 are strikingly categorical. Apart from Him, we can do nothing. That means we need Christ. Apart from Christ, there is no fruit, no growth, no life. Christians need Christ.

Students Are Often Blind to Their Need, But Leaders Shouldn’t Be

It is a fascinating fact that many students do not recognize any need in their life that a small group leader might help them to meet. Students often come to small group with many problems and no notion that the leader sitting before them might be of great help to them. Indeed, the very presence of an interested person in their lives is already a blessing which many of their contemporaries do not have. But they need to understand their need, not for a small group leader in particular but for God in general. Many students live in rather turbulent ignorance of what is most essential. 

How do we demonstrate need? We can do it by talking about the kinds of problems we know students often have while leaving the door open to whatever particulars they might bring to the conversation. We can do it by talking about ourselves, not as the heroes of the story, but as the ones needing help and rescue. We always point to Godd as the hero. It is axiomatic that the students need God. We need only point out where their feet are firmly planted in mid-air to demonstrate their need.

Perhaps the easiest and simplest way to demonstrate the students’ need is to express our own. We are dependent on God. We must walk by the Spirit. We can do nothing apart from Christ. Students will naturally often look at small group leaders as models of how to be. They will see us as independent, self-sufficient, and, to a certain extent, powerful. But we know we are none of these things. If we demonstrate and talk about a humble dependence on God in our own lives, many students will find that surprising because that is not what they expect from mature adults. They think that they are supposed to outgrow dependence, that they are supposed to become self-sufficient. But we demonstrate that maturity is knowing how to be like a little child before the Heavenly Father. If we talk this way, we upend many students’ expectations of what an adult is supposed to be, and in revealing our need, we demonstrate theirs. 

Students generally do not expect adults to be needy people. There is a sense in which that is correct, because “needy” is a pejorative term that normally describes someone who complains and murmurs about things they want but do not have, and often do not really need. But Christians are needy in a real sense. We need Christ, and we are not ashamed of it.

Discover What They Think They Have

What does this look like in conversations in small group? As we ask questions, we seek to draw out from them what they believe, what they depend on, what they are trusting in. As we listen to them, we are looking for what is on a solid foundation and what is not. For example, maybe a big life goal comes up, or something that is really important to them. We do not need to question it immediately, but can normally listen. What does this thing mean to them? Why is it so important? Do they talk about it like a blessing or a need? Do they describe it as something they expect, or as something they would like? Do they talk like it’s a demand, or a desire? These things make a difference, because we can encourage desires, dreams, and hopes, but the more they describe these things as demands, needs, and expectations, the more cause there is for us to wonder whether their hope and purpose in life as a whole is not misplaced.

Students often experience need without knowing it. They have a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and direction, but it is going nowhere and they do not realize it. A small group can be a place where students learn for the first time that they are living for nothing and have no real purpose. That is a big thing to learn, and so students may find themselves questioning their entire lives as a result of small group. 

Of course, there are other students whose need does not need to be demonstrated because they already get it. They understand at some level that there is a vanity to life, a pointlessness that they cannot quite put their finger on. The answer or this person is not to learn more about their need but to point them to Christ, who is the answer. 

There are also students who are arrogantly self-assured, overly confident in themselves and seemingly impervious to any sense that they might need something beyond what they already have locked down. Leaders need to remember that they are not the Holy Spirit and therefore do not possess His power to change hearts. The right response to arrogant self-assurance is not desperate attempts to humiliate the students, but to be humble themselves. 

Depend on the Spirit

Ultimately, leaders depend on the Holy Spirit to demonstrate the needs of the students. Leaders cannot manufacture it; they can only lead by example. The more aware of their needs leaders are, the more faithful leaders can be to show by example the humility before God that accompanies faith. Leaders are dependent upon God to change their hearts, and they can be dependent upon God to change the hearts of the students.

There is an irony in the call for leaders to demonstrate the students’ need for Christ. The students need Christ and the leaders are responsible for seeking to demonstrate their need, but the leaders are also dependent upon the Spirit for the students ever to understand it. Truly, as Christ said, “apart from me you can do nothing.”