“Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?” - Job 38:2 (ESV)

If the passage above comes across as offensive, that is not intentional. My point is not to offend, but to point out a basic feature of many of our words. The basic feature is that words can be strung together without any real knowledge behind them. Ideas appear to be communicated, but in reality nothing of any substance is produced. They are words without knowledge, ideas without grounding, content without meaning. If it is true of what we all say at times, it can be expected that students would do this even more often. 

In short, the answer to the question is no. Not only is it not necessary for a leader to answer every question that comes from a student, but sometimes it is positively unhelpful. As I write this paragraph, I think of the last small group I led with students who asked questions that I did not end up answering. Instead, I questioned their questions. I did not do this in a challenging or confrontational way, but I used their questions to expose their assumptions. In this case, their assumptions were wrong, terribly wrong, and they needed to know. So instead of answering their questions, I leveraged them to ask questions back to the students. What they most needed was not answers to the questions they asked but the exposure of the faulty thinking upon which their questions were based. What follows are the methods I use to help students get the most benefit from their questions.

Expose Their Hidden Premises

This is the foundational point I want to make. Leaders do students a great service in helping them to see what kinds of assumptions and logical leaps they make in the questions they ask. Some logical leaps and hidden assumptions make their questions impossible to answer. They are the logical equivalent of asking “where is the color red?” or “who is gravity’s brother?” These questions have no true answer because the premises that make up the question are faulty. The color red isn’t restricted to a particular location and gravity is not part of a family. If you try to answer either of those questions, you aren’t cultivating understanding; you are reinforcing error and producing confusion. There is an infinite variety of ways in which students mix in faulty premises with their questions. If you are going to help them, you will need to think more clearly than they do. At least, you need to be willing to ask them follow-up questions about what they are asking. There is an important point to make here: you must be curious. It is unwise and unhelpful to jump to an interpretation of what the student is saying. You may not know what they mean. They may not even know what they mean. Let them develop their question. Help them to do it.

You also need to keep in mind that a student may ask a better question than they seem to be asking. The way they say it may not make sense. When you probe, you may find that they are thinking more clearly than they are able to articulate. They are asking a better question than they know how to put into words. Don't dismiss a question too quickly. See if you can improve the question by helping to refine it. Ask clarifying questions to see what they mean by one word you find confusing, or a turn of phrase that doesn't make sense. Don't assume that what a student says always matches what is meant. We all need help to clarify. 

One way of putting what I am trying to say is that leaders can act like editors for the students. It is not the editor’s job to write, but to edit writing. A good editor pulls meaning to the surface that the writer is trying to communicate. A good editor challenges the writer without replacing the writer. A good editor makes the author’s writing better without changing the meaning. So much of what a small group leader does for students is like editing. Students can benefit from a small group leader like an author benefits from an editor. 

Be Kind but not Condescending

Leaders should be kind but never condescending. This is an obvious thing to point out, but it is easy enough to stumble into a way of communicating with students that says “I know better than you and more than you, but I’m going to make you guess.” Students quickly begin to surmise that you are not a good leader; you are proud and condescending. Leaders should remember that Jesus always knew better and more than the people with whom He spoke, but He never came across as arrogant, proud, or rude. The apostle Paul reminds us in First Corinthians 13 that love is not arrogant and does not boast. We have no right to elevate ourselves at the expense of the students. It is a wicked and proud thing to communicate to students that you are speaking to them from on high and they should dutifully listen to everything you have to say. However, even in being kind, we can still come across as condescending. We come across as condescending when the tone we strike toward the students is the “bless your heart” sort of tone. There is a sickly sweet sort of smile, almost as if to say with our faces that they are such ignorant little things who need our help. When we come across as the wise, mature, better, smarter, more knowledgeable ones who have pity on them, we can stumble into offending the students who intuit what we are doing. It is not endearing to most students; it is annoying. The students may respond well at first, but over time they will often develop a mistrust that creates distance rather than promoting openness and trust.

Teach Them to Think About Thinking

One of the main reasons that students do not need every question answered is because they need to learn to think about their thinking, and talking about their questions instead of answering their questions is one of the most effective ways to do that. Just think how many times Jesus refused to answer direct questions. There are examples of people asking questions in bad faith, or other times when Jesus was keeping His identity hidden, but there are other times when he engaged the question and challenged the thought behind it rather than answering it directly. If we can teach students to think about what they think and why and how they think the way they do, we can help in ways which otherwise would be impossible. One reason it is not good to answer every one of a student’s questions is because it validates every question a student asks. Not every question is well-constructed. Not every question is worth answering. But every question that isn’t well-constructed is worth reframing into one that is. When a leader works with the question rather than giving an answer, the leader is engaging with the student at the level of thinking that develops the questions, which is deeper than the level of thinking where an answer is given.

Conclusion

An illustration can serve as an appropriate conclusion. Imagine a student chef who is working on baking a batch of cookies. She comes to you and asks where the soft drinks are kept. Surprised, you ask why she wants to know where the soft drinks are if she is making cookies. The student answers, “Well, the recipe calls for baking soda, so I figure I’ll find it with the other soda, like Coca Cola and Sprite.” If you tell her where the soft drinks are, are you really helping her? My argument is that no, you are not. You know that she is asking a sincere question, but you also know that she sincerely misunderstands. Her question doesn’t need to be answered; her question needs to be questioned. That is why small group leaders should question premises, be kind but not condescending, and teach to think about thinking rather than answering every question.