Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up into salvation— 1 Peter 2:2 (ESV)

The first thing I should say in this article is that it is not a technical description of the ins and outs of caring for newborn babies. On one hand, parents have been taking care of newborns for thousands of years; there is a naturalness to taking care of newborns that usually does not require explanation. On the other hand, the variety of situations and circumstances into which babies are born and in which parents find themselves is so great that no single article could possibly cover even a representative sample of them.

A bit of perspective on me as an author is appropriate here. I am a father, not a mother. So I approach talking about raising newborns from that direction. The Lord has allowed us to experience two miscarriages and six healthy births. My wife is far more knowledgeable about the ins and outs of caring for newborns. It is striking how much we learned as a couple and as individuals over the years. My wife has spent a good portion of our marriage nursing our babies. We have taken our fair share of trips to the emergency room. Looking back, some of them we would repeat and others we would skip. Just the other night, as I write these words, I nearly rushed our youngest to the emergency room. Thankfully, I didn’t end up needing to go. 

As I think about our experiences raising newborns, the principles that guide our actions are relatively easy to draw from a Scripture that only incidentally mentions infants.

What is this article about, then? It is about some of the most basic observations that can be made about newborn babies. The text above is a good start. The apostle Peter is not talking about babies but using them as an analogy for how believers should think about growing in Christ. We can make a few helpful observations from this simple analogy.

Observations on Taking Care of Newborns

Notice that Peter expects his readers to know what newborn infants are like, namely, that they are hungry for milk. Peter takes for granted that people know that babies long for milk, and based on that piece of common knowledge, he exhorts believers to long for what they need to grow spiritually. We know babies need milk, too, and from this basic observation, we can draw other inferences.

Expect babies to cry. What does it look like when a baby is “longing for milk?” The baby cries. The longing is expressed, not in pleases and thank-yous, but in simple (often loud) cries. How else is a baby going to say, “I’m hungry”? Babies cannot gesture; they do not know sign language. They cannot say “drink” or “food,” so they do what they are born knowing to do, which is cry. Crying is the main common-sense way that a baby communicates. Parents should take it seriously. Just like adults do things for reasons, so do babies. There are some who see nearly all crying as a manifestation of the baby’s sin nature, and that therefore babies should be taught not to cry almost immediately. This is a ridiculous over-interpretation of what Scripture affirms about one aspect of reality and a gross under-interpretation of others. While Scripture affirms that we are sinners from conception, it also recognizes the helplessness of babies and their need to grow. On the other hand, some over-interpret all crying as an expression of a legitimate need the baby has. But not every reason for crying is equal or should be equally attended. This is true in adults and it is true in babies.

If a baby is crying, there is some reason. There may be something that requires your attention, and there may be something that does not, as far as you can tell. Parents should do what they can to understand the reason a baby is crying. However, this must come with the caveat that parents will often not know why their baby is crying. Sometimes, you will discover later. Other times, it may remain a mystery. Parents will also discover that attending to some cries makes it worse and upsets the baby even more. A parent’s comforting presence is not required in every case. Sometimes, a newborn will cry for a relatively brief period and then stop. However, the longer a baby cries, and the more unremitting it is, the more concerned I become, because it is difficult to imagine a baby crying incessantly and to the point of exhaustion without there being something wrong. Calling it “colic” has never been much of a comfort, because a colicky baby is a baby that cries a lot and no one knows why. That doesn’t help me understand why my newborn is crying, it only tells me that I don’t know why my baby is crying. Naming an experience is not the same as explaining it. This leads to another observation.

Babies are highly dependent. They need to be cared for. Neglecting a baby is an evil thing, yet it happens. They need milk. They need to grow. Parents must pay an appropriate amount of attention to their babies so that they receive what they need to grow, which includes things like appropriate activity, sunlight, nourishment, rest, attention, affection, and routine.

Babies grow quickly and change quickly. Parenting a newborn is a funny thing because every day is different. Diaper sizes quickly change. Clothes become outgrown. As parents care for newborns, they should remember that they are caring for a person that is experiencing an explosive amount of growth and change compared to the parents.

As parents take care of their newborn babies, there are so many things to take into account. There are diaper changes, feedings, naps, and health concerns. It is a time full of caring for a life that can do very little for itself.

Peter’s admonition to believers is helpful for parents to remember just how basic a thing it is to take care of newborns. Babies are very different from adults, and parents need to respect that. Parents must be prepared to give of their time and effort for their baby. It is a time when much of life changes.

Unhelpful Tendencies and the Need for Balance 

There is a tendency among writers and supposed child-rearing gurus to overstate their case. Bold and comprehensive claims are made about babies’ needs that go beyond what is really known. Claims that are not controversial or categorical tend not to garner a very wide readership. The people who make measured claims, who refuse to overstate their case, who point out simple wisdom and prudence, and who place an appropriate amount of responsibility on parents are not the most popular writers. Those who make measured arguments and give reasonable advice tend to get shouted over by others who seem to care more about a large audience than the actual benefit of what they are saying.

Parents have been taking care of newborns for millennia without the benefit of gurus and parenting experts. What babies need is rather obvious. I have heard it said that the primary goals of parenting in the early years are to help children sleep, eat, and poop. It is hard to overstate how important these three are. It is also hard to overstate how basic these three are. 

How much more than this do parents need to know? From these basic principles, innumerable practical points emerge in actual practice, far more than can be enumerated in a single book, never mind a blog post. And yet, parents find themselves consistently confused and befuddled by overweening advice that purports to give perfect parenting advice for perfect children with perfect results. Such advice neglects the most basic facts recorded in Scripture: the children are a gift that need to be nourished and cherished, that death and decay are at work even in babies, and that children are made in the image of God, although they are fallen. Claiming more than this leads to parents who believe that more depends on them than God has given, and they will usually end up either ignorantly arrogant or despairingly frustrated, to say nothing of the effects on the children.

As parents take care of newborns, they should heed the advice of the generations that came before them. They should benefit from practical books and tried-and-true medical advice, but they also need to recognize that caring for their newborns is squarely on their shoulders. Theories are all well and good, but a newborn baby in your arms is an indisputable fact with which you must deal. Theories must be put into practice. Diapers must actually be changed, whether they are the cloth or disposable kind. The newborn needs nourishment, protection, and attention. Parents are the first line, the ones to whom the child is given, to cherish and to steward as a good gift from God. 

Conclusion

In this article, I have not attempted anything like a comprehensive guide to taking care of newborns. There is far too much to learn and far too much of it is critical for the wellbeing of the children. But parents do well to consider a simple mention of newborns from the apostle Peter, who implies a world of meaning in a simple analogy intended to motivate believers to grow up into Christ. Peter helps parents to observe simply and uncontroversially what books and theories can wittingly or unwittingly confuse. In sum, taking care of newborns means providing what God designed babies to need to grow into adults without treating them as though they should already have arrived. If parents can keep that in mind, they will avoid much of what is confusing and misleading. 

New parents will generally find that taking care of an infant is at once natural and uniquely challenging. There will normally be aspects that are surprisingly easy or smooth, while other aspects will befuddle and confuse. To that, all I can say is “Welcome to parenthood.” It is a weird, wild, and wonderful ride.