[4] “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [5] You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. [6] And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. [7] You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. [8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. - Deuteronomy 6:4–9 (ESV)
Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is one of the clearest and comprehensive sets of instructions to parents. This passage is commonly referred to as the Shema (sheh-MAW) from the first word in Hebrew: “Hear.” The original context is the end of Moses’ life and his final messages to the people as they prepare to enter the Promised Land. Moses knows he will not accompany them, so this passage is part of his final instructions to parents.
What does Moses tell parents first? The first point is doctrine or teaching: Yahweh is one. This is to say that Yahweh is not many gods. He is one God. He has no parallel, no equal. This is who Israel’s God is, and there is no other. There are many important principles that could be inferred from this point of doctrine, and innumerable errors avoided. However, Moses’ application to the people is our focus here.
What does Moses tell the people to do? He is about to instruct the older generation regarding the younger generation, but first Moses tells them that their primary duty, the priority, is to love Yahweh with all their heart, soul, and might. This is before everything else, and everything else comes after this.
Skipping Love
It is all too easy for parents to skip the love of Yahweh, as scary as this is. The love of parents for God is what will motivate them to teach their children to love God. If parents want their children to love God, they should strive to show them what that looks like. Before the parents can rightly understand and direct their children in the way they should go, they must consider what direction they are running and whether it is one in which others can run or just them. This is part of what is meant by Jesus’ words in Matthew 7:1-5; it is impossible for us to see the imperfections and sins of others properly until or unless we are equally willing to deal with our own. In other words, if parents are going to teach their children to love God, it must start with the parents loving God.
The foregoing leads to an important point: the goal of parenting must be that children grow up to be lovers of God and not of themselves. This should not be surprising. The command to love God with the whole being is one way of stating the basic purpose of all human beings. It only makes sense, then, that parents should raise their children with this in mind. The command to love God is the command that orients and rightly places every other command. Loving God is an organizing principle of the Christian life that ensures that every other command is placed in its proper proportion. There is nothing that exceeds it in proportion or priority. Parents cannot dictate the direction of their children’s lives, but they can and should seek to influence them in this direction.
How do parents influence their children in the direction of loving God? The first thing parents must do is consider whether and how they are loving God or not in their own lives. What parents should want their children to be, they must let their children see in them. Before parents can expect to teach and instruct their children in the love of God, they must be loving God with all their heart, soul, and might. This is to say that they love God with all that is in them, from their thoughts, to their desires, to their actions; this is their heart. They must also love God with all their soul, or life.
The soul in Hebrew is a term that can mean life force, being, or soul. For someone to love God with all their soul means that their whole being is devoted to the love for God. Parents must also love God with all their might. This is the strength of the parent, the ability to get something done, to accomplish something. Yahweh is staking an absolute claim on parents’ lives to devote their whole internal lives, their essential being, and their external choices to God.
First Things First
Parents must recognize the importance of getting their own loves and lives sorted before they direct their children. This is similar to Jesus’ warning in Matthew 7:4 that each person must see his own sin rightly and fairly before he can see another’s properly. Moses is saying here that children must learn to love God, but that it is incumbent on parents to love God first.
It is fairly common for parents or adults who hope to be parents to say that they want their spouses or children to be religious and go to church because of the social benefits. They want their families to be “healthy” in that sense. There is some nobility in this idea, since the person is desiring the good of others and seeking to provide what they believe would be good and healthy for their families. But there is a fatal flaw in this thinking.
The fatal flaw is in thinking that other people need “church” or “religion” but the person in question does not. This reflects a complete misunderstanding of Christianity and the gospel. Church is not for “other people” any more than the gospel is for “other people.” The idea is ridiculous. Christianity is about knowing Jesus, about being dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus, about being born again by the Spirit, about communion with God, about being raised with Christ from death in sins to eternal life with God. Is that something that would be “good for the kids?” Parents who think this way need a reality check. They need to understand their desperate need to love the Lord first.
Conclusion
If parents do not love God first, then they will live in another direction even as they call their children to live in the right one. Parents may tell their children about God and exhort them to love Him, but why would they not love God themselves? It may be because they really want their children to grow up to be kind and respectful. They may prize their children being under a certain kind of control. They may believe that it is the best way to help a child grow up to be successful in a career. Whatever the case, it is the definition of hypocrisy to tell a child to love God when the parents do not. It is essential for parents to love God first.