But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. - 2 Peter 3:18 (ESV)
In this post, I want to point out something obvious: leaders do not have to have all the answers to every question a student asks. I include Peter’s concluding thought from his second letter to remind us that Christians should never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To grow in grace and knowledge certainly means more than learning facts. Growing in grace and knowledge means something greater than that; it means to grow in our relationship with Christ. However, that does not mean that facts, answers, or ideas are unimportant. Instead, facts and ideas are part of what make up relationships. We could say that relationships are made of more than facts and ideas, but they are not made of less than facts and ideas. Leaders, then, should expect to need to grow in their knowledge and maturity for their entire lives. It is no failure for a leader not to know everything. It is rather a failure for leaders not to be seeking to grow in the grace and knowledge of their Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So, omniscience is not a prerequisite to being a small group leader. Too often, small group leaders feel pressure to have answers to every question. It is not obvious that ignorance may be an acceptable response. But it becomes more obvious if we reexamine the purpose of small groups. The goal is discourse, or productive conversation. The goal is not to have every possible question answered for two reasons: first, not every question has a definite, concrete answer; second, answering every question is not essential to productive conversation. Therefore, when a leader is asked a question and has no answer, the leader can admit ignorance. But the conversation does not need to stop there. The leader does not have to have an answer for every question. But the leader does need to keep the conversation going. And although there may be no pat answer to the question forthcoming, there are always avenues of discussion to pursue. The leader can select one of those to keep the group discourse going. Specifically, I will suggest several points to help leaders navigate questions for which there are no quick answers.
Commit to Following Up
It is one thing for a leader not to have an immediate answer. It is another thing not to be interested in helping the student discover what the answer is. If a leader does not know how to answer a particular question, leaders sometimes make the mistake of treating the question as though it ought never to have been asked. It is usually unhelpful and unwise to communicate that to a student, especially if a leader feels threatened by the fact that they do not know how to answer a particular question. Instead of acting on the feeling of being threatened, a leader can simply tell the student that they don’t know but that they will follow up later about it. Students will typically accept that solution, and leaders can move on from there.
Connect the Student to Someone Else
A leader may know as little as a student about a particular question, but a leader is more likely to know someone who can answer than the student. When a leader doesn’t know how to respond to a question, the leader can suggest that the student talk with someone they know who can. Although there may be others in addition to a pastor who can answer well, a situation like this one is often a good way to connect the student to someone in pastoral leadership in the church, such as the youth pastor or another pastor or elder in the church. The pastor should see a difficult question as more than an opportunity to answer a question; it is an opportunity to build a relationship.
Study It Yourself
A student’s question may prompt you to realize you should follow up on a question by studying the matter yourself. It is a healthy thing for students to hear from leaders that they want to find out more and get back to them. It displays humility and curiosity on the leaders’ part, not to mention a willingness to learn and grow. The commitment to study it yourself is a more intense commitment than to follow up later about the specific question because you are exploring a whole new area rather than looking for the answer to one question. Students will then know that you are seeking to become more equipped and knowledgeable to help more than the one person who asked a question. Later on, you and the student can have further conversations about the area in general. By doing that, you are leveraging a single question to help develop a relationship with the student, which is, after all, a significant goal in leading a small group.
Encourage Them to Think About It More
I have already written previously that I don’t think every question needs to be answered for a student. Teaching the students to take a question and ponder it is one of the most valuable lessons a small group leader can give. Oftentimes, students aren’t interested in thinking well so much as they would like an answer to their question. However, some questions don’t need to be answered as much as pondered. For this reason, a leader might decide not to even attempt to answer the question, and that can be more than ok. It can be the best choice. For example, a student might ask something about the incomprehensible attributes of God, something to do with eternity or infinity and how God relates to us in space and time. Certainly, we can talk about what the Bible says about God revealing Himself and making Himself known to His creation, but there is also a value in meditating on the person and nature of God that no pat answer can provide. Sometimes the best answer to a question is to encourage the student to think about it more.
Discuss the Question, Not the Answer
Discussing the question is a similar suggestion to the one above about encouraging thinking. Sometimes, the question itself is more interesting that whatever might be the correct answer. This is especially true in cases where the answer is somewhat obvious or “easy” to you as the leader. A student’s question may call to mind a Scripture reference or a simple point of inference, or a well-established doctrinal point from a classic confession, but regurgitating the answer to the student immediately may be less valuable than probing deeper into the question itself. Be more interested in the student than in answering the student’s questions. Don’t be coy or condescending. Be interested. Be willing to answer, but more curious about the student. Let the student’s question prompt you to ask yourself why the student might be asking that particular question. Is it ignorance? Confusion? Doubt? Curiosity? If you skip to the answer, you may never find out.
Conclusion
My main point here is that leaders don’t have to have all the answers. I have written so before, but hopefully the reasons discussed above help to remove the burden of omniscience from leaders’ backs. Small group leaders, like everyone else, are limited in their growth in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ. They don’t need to worry about not being omniscient. They should focus on answering wisely, seeking to understand the student behind the question and not just the question.